I've been married going on 44 years, and personally, I don't see why you have to break the bank or go into debt to have a huge, fabulous wedding. Now, if somebody has the money, then what they do is their business.
My parents didn't pay for either of my weddings, one at nearly 20 and the next at 24. My father did pay for the flowers at my first "starter" marriage, a whopping $75, but I didn't know until the day of the wedding that he was doing that. I hadn't even asked him to.
I paid for every cent of my second, and I figured up, a few months ahead of time, how much money I was going to need for the wedding and for my regular living expenses. The wedding cost $650 total. So, for me, it was the most expensive wedding on record. I had $2 or 3 dollars in my checking account the day of the wedding.
There's no need to have a big, sit-down dinner if you can't afford it. Cake and punch, mints and nuts in the afternoon is fine. Same with liquor. If you want it, fine. If not, let the guests go out to eat afterwards and order their own.
While I made my second wedding dress, I know it's cheaper to buy off the rack than to sew now, so hit up sales at wedding stores, check out thrift shops, ebay, or even borrow a dress.
I did my invitations on nice blue stationery, one at a time, on a Selectric typewriter, using an italic font and blue ink. This was before correcting typewriters or computers, so if I made a mistake, it went in the trash. I'm not sure I saved any money doing that, because every time I went to the mailbox my future mother-in-law had sent another list of names to invite. Another trip to buy more stationery.
Ordering engraved ones might have been just as cheap. I put a quote on the front "Come live with me and be my love," and then all the information inside. Since it was my second wedding, I didn't include my parents' names.
Nowadays, you could print them on your computer. Craft stores have kits for this. I'd compare the cost of doing them yourself and having them professionally done.
The most expensive things were the cake, punch, and flowers, which I got at one stop; the florist. Your wedding cake doesn't have to cost $1000. I've seen pretty ones done at the grocery store. I had a chocolate cake with yellow icing, topped with yellow daisies. This was before grooms' cakes got popular.
A friend of mine bypassed a lot of stress. She and her fiance were both active in their church, so they got married on Sunday morning during the service. She did wear a wedding dress and her mother wore a mother-of-the-bride dress. Anybody who wanted to come was there, and so there were no upset bridesmaids to cause drama and she avoided being a "Bridezilla."
I wasn't there, but she told that me at some point, maybe toward the end, they stood up together and got married. When my son got married, I encouraged them to do that, but instead, they avoided all the problems by going to a J.P.
It's sad, unfortunately, to see people go into debt for a blow-out wedding, especially if it's over in just a few years.
My husband looks pretty good, considering he got really, really sick with a bug that knocked him flat the day before. He had to spend the night in the hospital, so he missed the rehearsal dinner. After all the time, money, and effort I'd spent the last few months, jokes about "cold feet" didn't go over very well with me.
Source: Personal experience
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I wore a light blue dress with a pinafore that had yellow rosebud sprigs on it. Nowadays, I think the bride should wear whatever color she wants, but back then, wearing white for a second wedding was not something we considered.
I've always joked that if I get married a third time, I'm going to wear bright red and come down the aisle to "Mame."
I've been married for fifty-nine years. When I was married, I made my own wedding dress, which was light blue taffeta with a sheer, white overskirt. I made my own cake, which was a fruit cake and I made most of the food, ( a huge bowl of potato salad) and my mother helped me with other food.
My mother made my first dress. It was 1971 and I had the three- puffed Juliet sleeves with lace around each puff. She was so proud of those sleeves that she displayed one of the professional photos that showed them off. I looked cross-eyed, but she wanted those sleeves to show.
My second dress was light blue with a sheer blue pinafore with yellow rosebud sprigs. I wore flowers in my hair. I can't believe I ever wore a pinafore. Hopefully, my aunt, who was my matron of honor in a yellow dress with a yellow pinafore, has forgiven me for making her wear a pinafore with flowers in her hair! What can I say--it was 1975, just about the end of the hippie era.
I think it's the stories about what went wrong at a wedding that are the things we remember and talk about for years. I went to a "perfect" wedding once, and I thought it was rather boring. The bride is on her 2nd or 3rd husband now.
Since my husband had to spend the night in the hospital the night before, we cancelled our first night's reservation in San Antonio and spent the night at a nice hotel in Dallas, driving to SA the next day.
I managed to get through the day without breaking down, but we went to a restaurant after the wedding, by ourselves. I think I got a drink, while my husband had to drink a glass of milk, which he knocked over. "Nuts!" he said. All the stress of the hospital stay and the wedding day caught up with me then. I went to the restroom and cried and cried. I wasn't quite sure why I was crying, but I felt better.
On the way to my wedding my maid of honor realized shed left her bouquet at the house so we went back for it, then headed back to the church. My limo hit a boy who darting in and out of traffic. I was sitting between my mom and moh, with nothing to hold on to, so I rolled onto the floor, my headpiece dislodged and dress (from London) got dirty.
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