Sending Wedding Invititations?

If I don't have an engagement party/announcement, and I don't send a Save the Date card, which cards go out first? The bridal shower card or the wedding invitation? How do I let people know about the registry for the shower. I would like to receive money for the wedding?



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By Victoria (Guest Post)
November 5, 20070 found this helpful

The bridal shower card goes before the wedding invitations (unless you are holding a destination wedding where people need to make travel arrangements). Even if you hold a local wedding, I would send out the wedding invitations no later than 4 weeks prior to the wedding. The bridal registry information goes on the bridal shower card. If you consult any wedding etiquette advice sites, they all say asking for $ is tacky. The only way I can see where people would most likely be prone to give $ is if you do not have many items on your bridal registry lists. Good luck!

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By (Guest Post)
November 6, 20070 found this helpful

I agree. Asking for money makes one look gready and sound entitled. No one has to give a wedding present; they do so because they want to. When I get a card with the suggestion of money, I simply don't go to the wedding. As a guest, I prefer the couple want my presence and the suggestion of money makes my feel like they only want my paycheck.


Another thing I really hate is when a couple registers and everything they choose costs at least $100. It may be acceptable for close relatives, but not when you barely know the couple (and maybe work with a parent who asked you to be there).

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Bronze Request Medal for All Time! 87 Requests
November 7, 20070 found this helpful

i hope you arent sendiing you own bridal shower invitations. that would be tacky. it is your maid of honors resposablity. do not ask for money unless you know the person really well.

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By Dee (Guest Post)
November 21, 20070 found this helpful

I agree with the other posts, except that I don't think any mention of a registry or other gifts should go in any invitation (not even in the shower invitation). Word of mouth is the polite way to let people know what type of gifts you prefer, and where you're registered.

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November 21, 20070 found this helpful

I agree with the other posts, except I don't think there should be any mention of gifts or registry on any invitation - not even the shower invitation. Word of mouth is the polite way to let people know your preferences for gift, or where you're registered.

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By Kaiya (Guest Post)
December 7, 20070 found this helpful

I dont know if its different there, but i'm from Jamaica and here, if u open a bridal registry for people to deposit money instead of bringing gifts, you just put the bridal registry card in the wedding invitation when sending it out with the a/c number and such on it and they can go and deposit the money into that bank account when they want to, before or after the wedding. Its become popular here to prevent getting 3 or 4 blenders for gifts and people can put as much or as little as they want. it also helps to cover some of what you spend if you get cash instead of gifts, maybe its done differently where you are tho, so i dont know.

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By TAZ2346 (Guest Post)
January 8, 20080 found this helpful

I don't believe Preferring $ to gifts is tacky. Alot of couples that marry have already been on their own for quite some time and have aquired all the necessarys to "set up houskeeping".


I have attended several "Penny Bank Showers" over the years and actually prefer them to the traditional showers.

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January 16, 20080 found this helpful

A nice way to ask for money is to pick something that you wish to spend it on, your honeymoon perhaps or a piece of art. Something expensive that people would not be able to buy you individually but feel a part of something special.

Many people have already set up their homes or if they are about to move in together after the wedding already have two of everything. So being able to contribute $$ to something nice and that will keep or perhaps even improve in value is a pleasant gift to give.


I have friends that selected a piece of art that they wanted to purchase, they included a web link to the dealers picture on their card. It is a gift then that guests will recognise when they visit the newlyweds home and know that they enjoy the gift.

One extra thing, don't invite anyone to the bridal shower who you won't be inviting to the wedding. It is rude to expect a gift from someone you do not wish to share in the event itself.

Ooh and Congratulations!

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May 26, 20090 found this helpful

I am a wedding stationery consultant and asking for money is very common, but there are fun ways to do it. If you google "money gift poems" or similar, you can get some really fun and unique ways to ask without asking.


A honeymoon registry or even hardware stores now have registries too. Gift cards to your favourite restaurant or equivalent are appreciated too.

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