Tracking Down RSVPs for a Bachelorette Party?

I received an incomplete guest list for an bachelorette party. Not everyone had phone and address, and some are simply "Find on Facebook". I miraculously tracked down these girls with phone calls, messages, printed invites (after personally tracking down their addresses), and even sent text messages. I created a Facebook Event as well, that every lady who is invited is a part of.


There are still 5 girls who I haven't been able to contact. I am wondering how much more effort I should put into tracking down these ladies. It is a month away, but the guest list is large (23) and has a very high cost (wine tour, hotel). I was going to try one more round of phone calls for soft RSVPs, and then send a Facebook message and hope for the best.

I want to make sure this is a great party, but I don't want to rip my hair out trying to track down her friends. Most of them I don't know (sister of the groom and a bridesmaid), and only one other bridesmaid is being any bit helpful (the MOH is a dud). My nightmare is these girls RSVPing the very last minute, and not having enough space for them!

By Rachel O from San Francisco

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June 29, 20130 found this helpful
Best Answer

It sounds like you are a saint, and have also been taken advantage of by your brother's future wife. You have gone way beyond the call of duty and should not have to do any more. I trust the 23 have RSVP'd already and made clear if they will be attending. The latest here is not telling anyone the location of the event until they have positively RSVP'd and know you are definitely expecting them.


Only then will you tell them the location of the party or event. Good manners seem to have gone out the window in so many cases.

Your brother must be very special to you to do all of this on your own. I am curious how has the bride invited all these mystery people to the wedding if she doesn't have their addresses for you?
Good Luck!

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June 30, 20130 found this helpful
Best Answer

Who is paying for this event? If these ladies are paying their own way, it makes a bit of a difference. If you or your family is paying, insist on confirmation; there should be no such thing as "soft" RSVPs. I wouldn't put much more effort into finding the rest of the names; you have a pretty large party as it is, and undoubtedly have lots of other prep to do. As the other posters have said, contact, by phone or email with a FIRM deadline from those who have been iffy, and then after that date, politely tell latecomers, if any, that they can't be accommodated because of the nature of the party.


I am planning a family reunion, and the whole business of people not responding or saying "maybe" is driving me nuts. I count those people as a "no" response, but I have a bit of leeway for adding people. You do not want to get yourself in the situation of having to pay for people who do not show up!

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June 29, 20130 found this helpful

Good advice from the other poster! I would also suggest that you give everyone a "respond before....." and add a specific date. Anyone who waits until after this date will be sent a "thank you for your interest in attending but the event is full" message.

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